[ dextera hasn’t had the time or the luxury of worrying about lucien with everything that’s happened since the blight came creeping in over their cities, but there’s a slight lull in the restoration efforts, and it feels right to reach out to the child that reminded him so much of himself.
he doesn’t know whose care lucien has ultimately ended up in, but regardless, dextera doesn’t see him as an enemy. ]
[ Lucien is quick to answer because he is excited to hear from him! He's also uncharacteristically chatty, seeming comfortable enough to come out of his shell around Dextera. ]
I didn't find Yoko, but Lady Yima gave me her shard. I've been protecting and taking good care of it. Right now, I live with my friend Rin, but we lost our room in the manor because of all of the plants growing. We're staying at a man named Sebastian's house now. Anyway, I'm okay. I hope you're okay in Springstar?
[ the good news is that lucien is well. the bad news is everything else. lucien joined zenith after all—he supposes it’s easier for a child to accept an immediate reward in the form of the shard of a loved one, compared to the distant and lofty goal of the meridian. ]
…I’m fine. Thank you for asking.
[ he’s not going to try to uproot lucien now, considering all that’s going on. ]
I’m sorry to hear about your room. Springstar has had some damage too, but my home is still in tact. Is Rin kind?
[ dextera doesn’t mind the idea in theory, but in practice, he’s not sure that he would be welcome in highstorm. lucien, on the other hand… he’s just a child. he probably shouldn’t be traveling when they’re clearly on the cusp of a war or something worse, but at least the cornerstones make it easy. ]
I didn’t expect that you would end up living there.
[ a subtler way of wondering aloud how in the world lucien harmonized to zenith. ]
Me neither, not really. I like the sun in Springstar better. I wish Rin and I could move there instead.
[ It's a confusing answer that likely doesn't help Dextera so much. There's a beat of delay, but Lucien eventually continues the thought. It's subtle, but some of him is purposefully dropping a hint. ]
It might have to do with my other shard or something?
[ dextera picks up on the oddity immediately, alarmed. he’s never heard of a person having two shards—and he feels that if anyone would have them, he should be the one.
I did. I showed them to a few people, but they always said it was best to keep them both hidden where they are since bad things could happen to me if they break.
[ He remembers Dextera's. ]
Yours is under your shirt collar, right? I couldn't really see the color of yours, but mine is silver.
dextera has to stay quiet for a moment to quell the discontent aroused by lucien’s circumstances, since it’s not lucien’s fault he was somehow blessed. he may not even see it that way. ]
Mine are two different colors. The other one is red.
[ He senses though that Dextera is thinking. Maybe bothered? Not that Lucien should know why. His self consciousness steepens a bit, felt through the communion. ]
Did you not like the color you got? Maybe Lady Yima could change it if you come to Highstorm.
[ It's all he can come up with as a reason for Dextera's disatisfaction. Cosmetic, sure, but maybe Dextera isn't connecting to it as he'd imagined. ]
[ dextera is profoundly curious about why, but it feels wrong to just outright ask—like he’s demanding something lucien can’t give. he may break in the future, but for now, he holds his tongue. ]
I like my color. I was just thinking… it would be nice to have a second shard.
[ he decides to be honest, even if not fully straightforward about why. ]
[ Lucien wonders how to answer that. He feels guilty for mentioning that he'd had two in the first place, unsure why potentially arriving with two had seemed so important to Dextera. He's the first person to react to the reveal in such a way. ]
I'm sorry, Dextera. Is it because you feel like there's somebody else inside of you sometimes?
[ That's the only way Lucien could describe his own circumstances. Aware and yet like someone is pulling the wool over his eyes to keep him from fully understanding. ]
Maybe that's the only way. Or by asking Lady Yima...
[ He sounds like a broken record to bring her up again and again, but perhaps Yima is the only fixed point of comfort Lucien can find in Highstorm. He trusts her after she'd given him Yoko's shard. ]
[ dextera doesn’t grow irritated with lucien, at least, for suggesting lady yima. he’s used to the endless repetition of the people infected by their baroques, and by comparison, a child with nothing else to lean on is refreshingly innocent. ]
I feel like… [ he’s never told anyone else this, not so explicitly. ] I feel lonely. Does it feel better, having two?
[ It will be two more years before Lucien's completely sure of his own memories and his former identity. While they resurface from time to time, the child still doubts their authenticity and wonders why they come to him. He'll often find himself in weird, meditative-like states, saying some things simply because he's instinctively compelled to do so.
As such, his answer to Dextera now will be less informed. Lucien thinks carefully about the other shard— some of him still unable to recognize or acknowledge the person he shares his body with. ]
I feel empty if I take it out of me.
[ Is probably the best way to explain it. ]
But I don't really know who or what's inside it... maybe nobody? Maybe my shard is just broken in two or something, but I feel strange when it's not there.
[ Amazingly, he keeps speaking to Dextera as if they are long-time friends. ]
If I try holding it, it makes me feel sick and scared. I have this feeling like something really dangerous might be inside it, so it's better to keep it inside me instead where it belongs and the scary parts don't feel as strong.
[ He pauses. ]
It might be nice if the other shard was warm and friendly. Definitely not lonely.
[ lucien’s cadence does have a nice, calming effect, despite the distressing situation he describes. he can’t imagine what the other shard might be when lucien explains it as making him sick and scared, that this other shard is dangerous, but dextera is sure his brother would be different.
without knowing dark, dextera can’t offer any helpful explanation to lucien. he merely worries. ]
…I’m sorry.
[ he has the grace to apologize for making assumptions. ]
It’s hard to carry two after all. You’re a whole person.
[ it isn’t just the voice that’s different. lucien’s entire presence has suddenly changed—or, no, even that doesn’t feel quite right. it’s someone else entirely, just close enough to butt in at a moment’s notice. ]
I'm not the one calling the shots, that's just how it is.
[ He senses some attachment to Lucien from Dextera that kind of reminds him of how it'd felt when he'd first met Yoko. That itchy feeling of being not the favorite of the two personalities. ]
He's fine, he isn't hurt. He's still me.
[ Defensively bundles themselves together now in attempt to make Dextera to like him... ]
dextera can feel that little flare of defensiveness, and it’s endearing if he imagines lucien, but the voice he’s hearing from dark is so utterly different that he can’t actually make the image match for long. ]
He’s you?
[ it’s not entirely impossible to understand, but he’s baiting more details. ]
My consciousness reincarnated into the same human soul as him, so yeah. We're the same person.
[ For now and because it's confusing to even himself, Dark doesn't drop the deets on the kid's secret self-awareness. Lucien has addressed Dark directly a couple of times in their headspace before now but otherwise ignores him. He must not like him very much... ]
That's why we wound up with two shards but one body. You were really interested in that, weren't you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
communion (to lucien)
Date: 2023-05-08 01:50 pm (UTC)he doesn’t know whose care lucien has ultimately ended up in, but regardless, dextera doesn’t see him as an enemy. ]
Do you remember me? Did you ever find Yoko?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-08 02:45 pm (UTC)[ Lucien is quick to answer because he is excited to hear from him! He's also uncharacteristically chatty, seeming comfortable enough to come out of his shell around Dextera. ]
I didn't find Yoko, but Lady Yima gave me her shard. I've been protecting and taking good care of it. Right now, I live with my friend Rin, but we lost our room in the manor because of all of the plants growing. We're staying at a man named Sebastian's house now. Anyway, I'm okay. I hope you're okay in Springstar?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-08 03:00 pm (UTC)…I’m fine. Thank you for asking.
[ he’s not going to try to uproot lucien now, considering all that’s going on. ]
I’m sorry to hear about your room. Springstar has had some damage too, but my home is still in tact. Is Rin kind?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-10 12:41 pm (UTC)[ Well, if it's up to Rin herself, probably not. Lucien likes to think otherwise, but Rin can be an odd one with those her own size and age. ]
You should come visit me when the Blight is gone, or maybe I could go there.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-15 03:46 pm (UTC)I didn’t expect that you would end up living there.
[ a subtler way of wondering aloud how in the world lucien harmonized to zenith. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-17 05:51 am (UTC)[ It's a confusing answer that likely doesn't help Dextera so much. There's a beat of delay, but Lucien eventually continues the thought. It's subtle, but some of him is purposefully dropping a hint. ]
It might have to do with my other shard or something?
[ Because oh you know. Two shards. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-20 08:12 am (UTC)[ dextera picks up on the oddity immediately, alarmed. he’s never heard of a person having two shards—and he feels that if anyone would have them, he should be the one.
what does he not know about lucien? ]
Were you… did you arrive with two?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-20 02:49 pm (UTC)[ He remembers Dextera's. ]
Yours is under your shirt collar, right? I couldn't really see the color of yours, but mine is silver.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-23 06:30 am (UTC)dextera has to stay quiet for a moment to quell the discontent aroused by lucien’s circumstances, since it’s not lucien’s fault he was somehow blessed. he may not even see it that way. ]
Yes. It is. Are both of yours the same color?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-23 06:43 am (UTC)[ He senses though that Dextera is thinking. Maybe bothered? Not that Lucien should know why. His self consciousness steepens a bit, felt through the communion. ]
Did you not like the color you got? Maybe Lady Yima could change it if you come to Highstorm.
[ It's all he can come up with as a reason for Dextera's disatisfaction. Cosmetic, sure, but maybe Dextera isn't connecting to it as he'd imagined. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-23 06:08 pm (UTC)I like my color. I was just thinking… it would be nice to have a second shard.
[ he decides to be honest, even if not fully straightforward about why. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-26 11:42 am (UTC)I'm sorry, Dextera. Is it because you feel like there's somebody else inside of you sometimes?
[ That's the only way Lucien could describe his own circumstances. Aware and yet like someone is pulling the wool over his eyes to keep him from fully understanding. ]
Maybe that's the only way. Or by asking Lady Yima...
[ He sounds like a broken record to bring her up again and again, but perhaps Yima is the only fixed point of comfort Lucien can find in Highstorm. He trusts her after she'd given him Yoko's shard. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-29 01:05 pm (UTC)I feel like… [ he’s never told anyone else this, not so explicitly. ] I feel lonely. Does it feel better, having two?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-29 01:46 pm (UTC)As such, his answer to Dextera now will be less informed. Lucien thinks carefully about the other shard— some of him still unable to recognize or acknowledge the person he shares his body with. ]
I feel empty if I take it out of me.
[ Is probably the best way to explain it. ]
But I don't really know who or what's inside it... maybe nobody? Maybe my shard is just broken in two or something, but I feel strange when it's not there.
[ Amazingly, he keeps speaking to Dextera as if they are long-time friends. ]
If I try holding it, it makes me feel sick and scared. I have this feeling like something really dangerous might be inside it, so it's better to keep it inside me instead where it belongs and the scary parts don't feel as strong.
[ He pauses. ]
It might be nice if the other shard was warm and friendly. Definitely not lonely.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-30 04:29 pm (UTC)without knowing dark, dextera can’t offer any helpful explanation to lucien. he merely worries. ]
…I’m sorry.
[ he has the grace to apologize for making assumptions. ]
It’s hard to carry two after all. You’re a whole person.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-31 10:43 am (UTC)That's okay. You don't need to be sorry.
[ Lucien contemplates their conversation up until now. ]
Are you hoping for someone else's shard to keep you company?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-06 06:55 am (UTC)…yes. I think it would be nicer than just living with someone.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 01:21 pm (UTC)[ Dark Schneider jumpscare. ]
(1/2 )
Date: 2023-06-07 01:42 pm (UTC)( 2/2 )
Date: 2023-06-07 01:43 pm (UTC)[ it isn’t just the voice that’s different. lucien’s entire presence has suddenly changed—or, no, even that doesn’t feel quite right. it’s someone else entirely, just close enough to butt in at a moment’s notice. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 01:46 pm (UTC)[ Dark loves to shock people, even if it's long distance and through communion only! He can only imagine the face Dextera must be making. ]
Don't worry, I'm a way more interesting character. I'm the protagonist! Lucien's just my plot device.
[ He presumes so, anyway... ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 02:57 pm (UTC)That’s no way to talk about the person you’re sharing a body with.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 03:02 pm (UTC)[ He senses some attachment to Lucien from Dextera that kind of reminds him of how it'd felt when he'd first met Yoko. That itchy feeling of being not the favorite of the two personalities. ]
He's fine, he isn't hurt. He's still me.
[ Defensively bundles themselves together now in attempt to make Dextera to like him... ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-13 02:38 pm (UTC)dextera can feel that little flare of defensiveness, and it’s endearing if he imagines lucien, but the voice he’s hearing from dark is so utterly different that he can’t actually make the image match for long. ]
He’s you?
[ it’s not entirely impossible to understand, but he’s baiting more details. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-13 03:44 pm (UTC)[ For now and because it's confusing to even himself, Dark doesn't drop the deets on the kid's secret self-awareness. Lucien has addressed Dark directly a couple of times in their headspace before now but otherwise ignores him. He must not like him very much... ]
That's why we wound up with two shards but one body. You were really interested in that, weren't you?
(no subject)
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